Last night I dreamt about him again.
I often do, at least once a week. He drops in on us quite unexpectedly, staying only a day or two as he takes a break from his world travels.
To say that it’s a delight to see him is a cosmic understatement. Such joy and hugs and laughter. I know that he’ll be off soon, and I know there’s no point trying to persuade him to stay longer. He does what he has to do, as always. I go with him to the airport to see him off.
Last night he turned up when we were in Bradford, a place that has pleasant associations from my childhood. Sometimes we’re in Nottingham, but mostly we’re in Co Wicklow. Of course in my dreams it’s not the real Nottingham or the real Old Longhill near Enniskerry, but that’s what my dream tells me. We’re all there – all five humans anyway: Petra the dog (he always said Petchra) hasn’t yet appeared. Despite his later adolescence in Dublin and his student days in Manchester, they haven’t yet featured, nor has Southwell where he was a chorister.
He always looks well and is his bouncy cheerful self. I don’t know what his business is as he travels the world, but whatever it is I have no urge to ply him with questions about what he’s been doing or intends to do: I’m just ecstatic to be with him. He probably couldn’t tell me anyway, for he never was anything other than impulsive and spontaneous.
The curious thing is that this time travelling son of mine is always somewhere between 8 and 15 years old. He’s very young to be so assuredly independent, but that’s entirely in character too. In my dream I wonder how he gets through airport red tape and security, but doubtless he charms the authorities as he charmed others.
He would have been 43 next Tuesday, and next Friday is the fifth anniversary of his death.